Gentlemen's Lunchtime Association

Like a book club, but with video games.

Important Notice about GLA User Data

I am writing to let you know that there may have been unauthorized access to some GLA user account information.

For your protection, I have personally banned Fish Heads from chat twice, maybe three times, and also the word ‘password’ from the chat. Additionally, if you type your password in chat or on this blog, it will appear as a series of asterisks. For example: the GLA master password is *******.

I hope that this measure will ensure that the stolen passwords will not spread around.

The hardworking staff behind the GLA have worked hard to cryptographically secure all user data as hard as possible. It is hardly cryptographically encrypted onto a 512mb USB drive shaped like a humping dog. I may or may not have lost it sold it loaned it to a guy called Mike who promised to get it back to me by tomorrow. However, I now have reason to believe that Mike’s intentions were not pure and noble.

Do not fear. All of your passwords and stored credit card details (from your auto-renewing GLA gold accounts) have been encoded by a thus-far unbreakable algorithm known as Base64. Even to the most sophisticated human eye or sniffer dog, it just looks like a random bunch of junk, like somebody somehow found a way to combine Asda’s ‘Chosen by You’ Honey Numbers cereal with Alphabet Soup, without letting the Alphabet Soup go dry and the Honey Numbers go soggy. However, unlike Honey Numbers, Base64 is not made of corn. It is made of computers.

In addition, the following items appear to be missing from my basement vault:

  • Catsman’s special chicken fried rice recipe
  • A locket of BaronVonBadbeaver’s beard
  • My signed AniMitch poster
  • A top secret episode of Gentlemen Discussing Vidya that was never supposed to see the light of day
  • My tray of unlabelled frozen sperm samples
  • My tray of unlabelled frozen greek yogurt
  • Most of Everdark’s fat (he is thin now)
  • The mousemat with my face on it
  • The last Mitsuru body pillow in the known universe
  • Tacoman

We also recommend that you change your password at any website where you use the same or a similar password. Remember to seal your doors and windows at night. Trust nobody. Remain indoors. Do not think about the incident. Do not look at the hooded figures in the dog park.  We will communicate directly with affected users with additional details.

If you have any information about who might have been responsible for this, please come forward. Although I have not seen this person, I believe that they may look similar to the individual in this photograph.

Much Love,

Catsman

Smajsnamz

At first I was really worried my glasses had been stolen from the refrigerator, but they turned out to be on my face and then I realized I don’t wear glasses. So my non-existent glasses that were supposed to be in the fridge weren’t stolen after all. Happen ending. :3c

On April 1, 2015 at 6:59 am

Everdark

Catsman this is of utmost importance. You must get my fat back! The power it holds is unimaginable and in the wrong hands it could bring down all of GLA. I am the only one who can and should have control over it.

Since this is a private mail to you Catsman, I’m certain I can be honest with you. The fat is where my accent and voice comes from, you must get it back right now. If you don’t, the Everdark might spread and the world can’t handle such a crisis at this point. Keep this all secret from rest of the society for this is secret knowledge that can shake the world.

Sincerely yours <3,
Lil ol' love pudding Everdark

On April 1, 2015 at 2:20 pm

MixMasterMao

Now that the last Mitsuru Daki is gone purity has been restored. I can only hope that more people destroy their own waifu body pillows. The love for ones waifu must be pure. The body pillow is an impure object.

Your love must be as pure as a mountain stream, as clear as a pane of glass and as strong as my muscles.

That is all.

On April 1, 2015 at 2:53 pm

THIS IS IRONCLADLOU

Of COURSE when one brave soul comes forth to liberate all of the user data that Big Lunchtime hides from the public, he’s condemned as the bad guy and subjected to a manhunt. And then on top of that Catsman literally censors our passwords? Why don’t you just go ahead and make a list of all the ways in which we actually ARE allowed to express ourselves, wouldn’t that be easier?

The GLA is just a front for the stream-industrial complex and we all know it now.

On April 1, 2015 at 6:07 pm

Mooglepies

Catsman, did you check your pots and pans? This is important.

On April 1, 2015 at 6:51 pm

Baron

I sent my spare beard over. Did you get it, cats?

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On August 11, 2015 at 8:49 am